Living with Purpose: Aligning Your Goals with Your Faith

There is so much these days we see and absorb from social media and think 'OMG! That's me!' or 'Hang on, IS that me?!' and often the source of this information is unislamic and so we jump down the rabbit hole of cutting out toxic people and passing blame to others or finding the reason why we have been holding ourselves back.

Islam is a faith that encourages self reflection and asks us to look within to our own flaws and limitations before looking to others. In fact, in this modern day and age, we are tasked with the accountability of who we are, what our identity is and how our ego drives us.

Whilst I would never ask you to condone abuse or ask you to maintain a toxic relationship (tbh that’s for a learned scholar or mufti to best advise upon) I would ask you to ponder on the hadith where Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala says:

'I am the Merciful (ar-Rahman). I have created ties of kinship and derive a name for it from My Name [Silat-ul-Rahm]. If anyone maintains ties of kinship, I maintain connection with him, and I shall cut off anyone who cuts them off.'

Being quick to cut ties is not from us to do so easily. What about if it's your immediate family? Or your spouse? Or siblings? Even friends? These are just some of the relationships, my clients are looking to save when they approach me for clarity and support.

After all we have certain rights that others have upon us as well as Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, Himself, and we will be questioned about these on the Day of Judgement. This leads me to my own story…

At the time this story starts, I was finding life difficult; coming from a happy and healthy childhood, adult life changed me. Suddenly I was faced with difficulties with no emotional blueprint or real experience to deal with them. So I did what anyone would, tried to tackle them the best I could, at the cost of my own mental and emotional well-being.

I didn't even know it, I was suppressing anger, frustration and my goodness, SO MUCH resentment within.

One day it surfaced; one disagreement led to an explosive argument, and I was left holding all the blame of the falling out.

I struggled with not knowing how to manage and resolve this, who to turn to for advice and guidance and where to find the answers I needed. I put my faith in Allah (swt) and asked Him to pave a way for me.

I realised I needed guidance but from someone who completely understood my faith and my culture and I really struggled to find someone like this. In fact, most of my clients find me because they have experienced the same and secular therapy hasn't satiated their desire to increase in imaan from their experiences.

This started my own journey to finding the resources and mechanisms I needed to be able to find my way out of this hurt, pain and negativity. This is where the sincerest dua of guidance led me to…

The PER Journey was born from a yearning of having a purer heart; free from anger, resentment and bitterness, one that found it easier to pray for others, be there for others without expectation and cultivate a closeness and love for Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala that saw His tests and trials as a mercy, all whilst managing life as a working mum.

If today you are thinking about making a change within your life, changing your mindset and perspective to live a healthier and more fulfilling life, becoming spiritually closer to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, I want to encourage you to think.

Write down three goals you see yourself wanting to work on; personal, professional or spiritual and then think of all the things that won't change, because you won't commit to making it happen. That, my sister, is the cost of you staying stuck in the same place, yearning for Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala to change the hearts of others, for them to show you mercy and kindness, the same things you aren’t willing to show yourself.

Kindness, compassion and empathy start from within. The day you understand that the way you treat yourself is a foundation for how others treat you, your entire world will change. You will no longer round your shoulders, to be seen as small and hiding away from confrontation. You will no longer feed yourself the story that everything that happens is because of you. You will no longer attach your self - worth and value to how others see you. You will no longer yearn for the love and mercy of others. Change starts within, and the answer to duas often comes from changing ourselves to better our characters and become closer to Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala.

How do I know this? Because I have lived it, I have taken back control I freely gave to others to control and influence me, to understand who I am and what I value and why might Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala have created me. I understood that to have healthier relationships I needed to have a healthy relationship with myself and Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, Himself. I understood that to felt respected, I had to respect myself. I understood that if Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala, Himself gave me value, no one could take that away.

Today, Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has blessed me with a beautiful relationship with Him, one where I feel His love, compassion, mercy on a daily basis and His closeness envelopes me.

He truly gave, He gave me the ability to share my knowledge with other sisters stuck in the same place or even worse, to help them build their lives again, fill it with confidence, peace and a self-worth that elevated their ability, personally and spiritually.

We love to hear from you,so please get in touch, you can email us at [email protected].